A Bulgarian Proverb, “If you call one wolf, you invite the pack” explains the worn out definition of togetherness. A wolf pack endlessly stay together with their leader as a dominant alpha male and a female, however the weak and old lead their pace during journeys. The alpha remains in the end to monitor every move and route distinctly, marking the importance of harmony.
In the hunter-gatherer society, even humans existed in packs where the only means to survive and gather food was through hunting, fishing, scavenging and collecting wild plants that were edible. Questioning present conditions, when there is a booming transition in agriculture, is it still a necessity? Do we need a community or very large groups to live happily or feed our family?
Even now humans prefer to stay together for safety and survival and also to feel loved, nurtured, cared and so forth, just the interpretation of the phrase has evolved. In this day and age humans party, take a vacation, attend social gatherings, watch movies but the intention to connect floats in the laughs on small talks. Togetherness was limited to a countable number of people in the past unlike today when we have thousands and more friends. It’s ironic how we are inclined to take only some of the habitual of the past and mold the rest as per our convenience. Today, when being together for many is about the number of Get Together’s you are invited to, friends you have on social media, people who wished you on your birthday, we have still somehow managed to miss out the importance of the “Grandad” meaning of unity. This nipper togetherness has many conclusions which are not visible on minuscule level but in the long-old run when you have grey hair, they do affect our lives.
1. Time limits– We squander time as if we are drawing it from an unlimited supply, completing ignorant about the limitations. Togetherness in its true sense requires you to invest time and efforts to enjoy the fruitful benefits of it. How many true relations can you squeeze in, considering the limited supply of time? Not many! Lack of understanding of this consumes so many years.
2- Missing Genuine Togetherness- To by pass the social media and explore togetherness in communities is a long process but it’s worth can’t be bartered with any number of friends you have on any social platform.
3- Gossiping Trend-People used to spend a lot of time talking in the past, but they also spend as much time playing and interacting and doing team building exercises without really knowing they were team building exercises.
4- Far-Fetched Extroversion– Extroversion surely means having a love for gatherings but it definitely doesn’t mean they don’t have those paramount close bonds in their lives. I was an extrovert by nature for many years with all the festivity but at the same time I struggled to do justice by so many worthy bonds.
5- Downgraded Introversion- Introverts make better friends in my opinion, not because they are better people but they have more time to invest in the making of a bond even though it’s importance is underweight. In-fact many introverts live under the influence of FOMO which further pushes them to do things which aren’t worth their while. In this fear of missing out, we often miss out on real interactions and bonds and try to fill the space with more superficial ones.
6- Instilling Depression- Instant gratification in relations cannot replace the real gratification. The absence of knowledge of this, leads many people depressed and lost as they fail to interpret where they are going wrong.
7- No offloading- Contemplation of emotions also require time. Now with no time in hand due to the 21st century togetherness, how do they offload accurately. Offloading of any emotions without realizations even puts our self-relation into jeopardy.