A few days ago, I read this astonishing story of a “bunch of parrots” who lived in a very dangerous forest and in a constant struggle to protect their offsprings from other animals. This resulted in many of them dying due to hunger.
Some scholars researching into the depth of fear tested a theory on them. They fenced the whole arena where the parrots resided.
Did it change the protecting behavior of these parrots or the death rate of their offspring due to starvation?
Logically it should right??
Well, it didn’t.
The parrots still believing they are in danger, starved the same number of offsprings.
Isn’t that sad? Especially because they starved for no real fear?
Aren’t we the same?
Do we actually see the authenticity of our fears before letting it ruin our day, or in some cases days??
And when the same fear inculcates worry/anxiety in our “originally delightful” lives, we give excuses for how our fears are real!!
Mark Twain phrased “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”-A perfect fit isn’t?
Are you worrisome?
Tell me what spooks that vertigo you?.
You answer that and in the meanwhile let me tell you, I fear a lot. Or to be honest, I feared a lot more than I do now.
So if you fear substantially as of today, I don’t expect you sharing your vulnerability with me.
All I request is to keep reading, Atta Boy!!
As clarified, let’s discuss my used-too fears!!
1- Losing all the money- How much money I have?
None of my own. (little savings from my job which I am exhausting at a good rate). And currently I am also unemployed so you get the picture right???
With no significant possession under my name, I still feared to lose my money and not having a roof on my top or food in my stomach.
2. Losing a loved one to death– Yes, it is a genuine worry perhaps and heart-wrenching as well. I would have that thought approximately 100’s of time in a span of a fortnight and it disoriented my mind. Thankfully, reading though stoicism in a minor depth, I could overcome it.
3. Losing my stature of being smart– Nobody wants to look dumb. Do you want to look dumb? No, Right?
I didn’t either. I wanted to be considered as a smart chap. The downside of you knowing everything is you miss out on actually learning a new thing.
What did I lose then?
Opportunity to learn in trade against my unrealistic fears.
4. Fear of being alone-We live in a free world where we have the right to have our own opinions and judgments. Unless these judgments are life-threatening, it shouldn’t be anyone’s business. Right?
I wasn’t this smart always. So I feared being judged and left alone by the people who still love me unconditionally.
Again, one of those fears that existed only in my head!!
5. Weird different creatures- Can a cockroach bite? Or a rat? Or a lizard?
No, absolutely not. Still, you should have seen me dancing around the room in my 5 inch long heels so their creatures don’t crawl on my feet.
This fear I am yet to overcome, just now I would only jump if the creature is actually crawling on me!
6. The fear of the guilt of doing bad to someone- How many times have I unintentionally done badly with someone? Sometimes. How many times did I use to worry about? Much more!
Was it as worse as I thought it would be? Nope! far from it!
P.S- The fear of doing bad with someone naturally makes you more aware.
7. Fear of not succeeding at anything in life- I would fear to be unsuccessful in life, not making any living out of my qualifications. Now more than succeeding, I want to learn. Hence. Bye bye anxiety.
8. Being lost- I preferred some map rather than no map, even if that may lead me to Hunger Games arena. There was no limit to this specific anxiety of mine.
Now that you have kept patience to read my fears, Do you want to know the source which is also common to us humans?
1. Loss Aversion- We humans inherently avert losses. We don’t want to lose anything or be on the losing side of the table like ever even if we are very well aware, how failures are opportunities to learn.
2. Change Resistant– Change turning out good or bad can only be seen in hindsight, but we resist it no matter what. When I was leaving my hometown to study further, I was excited but I didn’t like the change. While moving back as well, I was skeptical and it took me some time to get used to the change. So much resistance and dislike and still both the decisions turned out to be a good one in my life.
3. Dependency- We love someone and the next thing is we are dependent on them. We are dependent on our partners, on our children, on our friends, so basically everyone but ourselves. Like this wasn’t enough, we also cling ourselves to all the materialistic possessions. When you are dependent on something, like it is vital to your survival or happiness, it is going to soon trigger the “fear of losing”.
because nobody likes change right?
Can we become more aware depending on the authenticity?
Well, I could!
By making a pile of two categories.
“I am the leader and I am the follower.”
1. “I am the leader” is that pile of thoughts which are in my control and If there is something I dislike, I ensure I slowly and gradually change it.
2. “I am the follower” is that pile of thoughts where I have nothing in my control so either I follow or I tell myself that I will follow when/if I have to!
Is there a way you deal with not being worrisome or fearful?
If you have any more innovative ideas, I will not mind following You!!