“Your dramatic flop and self sabotage has encouraged me to reevaluate my position and change my mind.” said no parent ever!
Failing is disgraceful, it suffers from banishment from childhoodery. Now that the childhood is gone, which do you presume are the common emotions linked to this lapse of failing?
Shame & Discomfort??
Don’t know about you! But I have had my interventions with both of them as Shame (being all heroic) halted my efforts and discomfort (demanding too much) enforced walking only on safe and known paths.
So, What have you failed at?
Living life as per your expectation?
If that weren’t enough, shame unfailingly moves along the course of discomfort. And that backsliding feeling, “Oh everyone thinks I am a failure.” turns you into a non-starter.
Now, there is a choice. Either consider Nuggets and Wisdom from “Brene brown” Or from “Schadenfreude”(Person who enjoys others misfortune).
Schadenfreude- “Failure tweaks like a nightmare, so stay down.”
C’mon, Choose the simpler and sweeter name!!!
Let me use my story as a currency here.
Ashamed that being good at drawing, I didn’t even stand in the top 3. The questions and soothing by friends who I wanted to impress being “Cool” undoubtedly took a toll.
Embaressement flushed me to crimson and I never participated in drawing competition since then. (Not that I haven’t lost those amazing skills, now I can only draw abstract)
The pattern didn’t leave there, another example?
Having an Atkt in one subject during engineering, I didn’t even appear for that subject the next two times. Lastly with the fear of a Yd(Drop of a Year), no more choice, I strangled myself to write and get over it.
Downward Spiral follows ahead.
Confidence- Down in the sewers.
This might be no news but having less confidence equals weak foundations. And it impacted every aspect of my life.
Fail for Growth – Everytime you fail, the learning and the reflection helps you mature into a better-older version of yourselves. Life seems to be designed in a way to get better and better. So why leave any chance?
In the mean time, let’s also throw the sleaky discomfort!
5- Speak up- Even if your view point is Pluto diminished, still speak up. This is one of the best ways to get hang of your nerves.
6- Banish as many Nay-Sayers– “I told you so”, “You won’t be able to do it”, or the sugarcoating ones, “Do you think you can do it?. Either hug them tight with a smile or move yourself away.
Have Fun Failing better!!